Poetry: Romantic Occlusions
I wonder if you ever were a dreamer
entranced by the wonderment of dreams.
If ever you believed in love eternal,
all encompassing, self-sacrificing streams
of blood and soul and spirit watching on.
You speak with such a cynic disbelief,
contempt for foolish whim, for love-swept wile.
Does any beauty touch your barren heart?
A mother’s kiss bring to your lips a smile?
Where went your faith in human kindness?
What little hope you hold keeps you alive
for without love or dreams we cease to be
and my tears fall for you today,
that jaded walls are all you’ll ever see
encased around your soul, devoid of joy.
Inside you’re still a wounded little boy.
It seems to me that your narrator is addressing someone who has given up on life and has shut himself off. I like the fact that your narrator is speaking about someone else: most poems have the narrator telling their own story. Also, the wondering what could have been is good too, it brings to life the thought that there could have been an alternative. I don’t have any suggestions, everything looks really nice.
I really enjoyed this poem for its clever structure and style whilst at the same time found it very sad. You very cleverly are able to portray the emotions of both involved in this situation and how the long time hurting of one hurts not only him but the one he loves. I really enjoyed it and look forward to reading more!
Rebecca, excellent portrayal of a man locked in his own cold world unable to feel the warmth o’ the tears shed for him.
this is very insightful. I hope it served as reminder to those who close themselves off and carry baggage that interferes with living and loving.
Carrie Dale Montgomery (carriedale)´s last [type] … Illiteracy